


The Story Of How Clint Almost Broke His Back For Empowerment

by evlytheevilqueen



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, The Hawkeye Initiative, idk someone probably had this idea before, instead it's 5k+ and the end is pure mush, oops I put feelings into my crack idea, this was supposed to be a quick cracky one-shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-06-05 03:16:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6686974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evlytheevilqueen/pseuds/evlytheevilqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She grinned up at him, head falling back against the couch. “So really, it's no one's fault but your own.”</p><p>Clint stuck his tongue out at her before making grabby hands at the laptop. “Give it here, if there are ridiculous porn pose pictures of me on the Internet I want to knoooow.”</p><p>Or Clint discovers the Hawkeye Initiative and it's all Darcy's fault that he almost breaks his back for empowerment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> For the precious few who stumble upon this and are not familiar with it already, here is the Hawkeye Initiative blog: http://thehawkeyeinitiative.com/
> 
> I didn't go into too much detail with the poses (mostly because then I'd probably have another 5000 words of trying to describe their anatomical impossibility) - I'd recommend going through at least parts of the blog before reading this, even if you know it already, and just imagine him in a few of your favorite positions (mind you that he can't actually take out his internal organs for the correct waist ratio and he doesn't have any props aside from the couch)

 

Phil arrived at the ER at almost the exact same time as the rest of the team.

“What did he do this time?” Natasha was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, outwardly the most bored and unaffected of them all. Phil knew better – the more casual Natasha looked in a hospital containing Clint, the more worried she was.

 

Phil let his eyes drift over to Steve, who grimaced in apology. “I'm sorry, I don't know more than you. I just know that Darcy called me, nearly hysterical and yelling something about Clint and hospital. That's all I could get out of her. I just sent an SOS to the team because well, you know Clint's luck...”

 

Even Tony grimaced at that. Phil had a hard time trying not to flinch at the reminder of just how many times he'd had to wait in a medical facility for someone to tell him just how bad it was. Clint attracted near-fatal injuries like some people attracted mosquitoes.

 

Before any of them could say anything else, Darcy raced into the room, almost running over Bruce who caught her at the last minute. Her hair was wild, her glasses askew and there were tear tracks drying on her face. Phil's heart stopped for a moment.

 

“Lewis, what happened?” Surprisingly, Tony was the first one to get a grip, stepping forward to put a calming hand on her shoulder. Darcy's face scrunched up and for a moment, Phil thought she was going to start crying. To everyone's surprise, she burst out in hysterical laughter instead.

 

The team kept staring at her as she doubled over with the force of her laughter, only starting to catch her breath after over three minutes (Phil had been keeping an eye on his watch).

 

“Oh, I can't wait to see your faces when I tell you,” she finally said, breathless and tears of mirth running down her cheeks. She looked more than a little deranged and neither Tony nor Bruce had let go of her yet.

 

“What happened?” Natasha asked again, the only one still calm and collected, at least on the outside. Her matter-of-fact tone seemed to be calming Darcy down further. She offered Natasha an ecstatic grin that had Phil's fingers twitch for his gun.

 

“Clint almost broke his back for empowerment!”

 

 

~ 4 hours earlier ~

 

 

 

The sound of near hysterical laughter lured Clint into the common room. He'd actually been on his way down to the range but he couldn't ignore Darcy's loud snorts – nothing that amused her so much ever meant anything good for the rest of them. Phil and Steve's disappointed faces would be unbearable if he just continued on to the range now and she burned down the tower or something.

 

Deciding that for once, caution was very much advised, Clint tiptoed into the room, trying to make as little noise as possible. Sneaking up on Darcy had two advantages in this situation – one, that way she wouldn't be able to hide whatever insane thing she'd found now from him. And two, her squeals were the best.

 

The moment he looked over her shoulder and his gaze fell on the screen, he really wished he'd given her a chance to shut down the laptop before he could catch a glimpse.

 

“What the everliving fuck?” he whispered, too baffled to make his voice louder than that. Darcy still jumped as if he'd yelled right into her ear, almost tumbling her laptop to the floor. Clint leaned over the back of the couch just in time to catch it. The catch angled the screen back into Clint's line of sight and he really wished he'd dropped it.

 

Slowly, he straightened back up and dropped the laptop back onto the couch. “I repeat,” he said, doing his best to keep his eyes on the black flat screen on the wall and away from the laptop screen. “What the everliving fuck, Darce?”

 

She avoided his eyes just as intently, chewing on a strand of her hair that she'd stuffed in her mouth. She mumbled something incomprehensible and didn't look up at him until he leaned forward again to pull the strand out of her mouth, eyebrows raised and gaze still averted from the screen.

 

“Come again?”

 

Darcy sighed, put upon, and slapped playfully at the wrist of the hand still holding the chewed-on strand of hair. “It's called the Hawkeye Initiative.” She didn't blush but she'd moved on to chewing her bottom lip and only looking at him out of the corner of her eyes, which was as close as Darcy Lewis ever got to blushing.

 

“And what exactly is the Hawkeye Initiative?” Clint crossed his arms over his chest, bracing himself for the answer. “Because it looks like some kind of porn fest.”

 

Darcy had the audacity to glare at him. “That's not what it's about!”

 

“Then care to explain?” He chanced another glance down at the screen and quickly drew his eyes back up. “Because from where I'm standing, it still looks like people drawing bad porn of me.” The feeling of his shooting glove tapping against the bare skin of his forearm calmed him down somewhat, but not enough for this particular conversation. “And I probably don't want to know why you're looking at it in the common room and laughing your ass off.”

 

Darcy started to snicker, which did nothing to soothe the rising feeling of dread in Clint's stomach. “Well, it kind of is and kind of isn't.” He felt his eyebrows climb even higher in response. “Okay, this is probably easier if I show you.”

 

Thankfully, she finally closed the tab he'd been trying very hard not to look at, opening another one that showed a comic cover starring a barely clad woman in a pose Clint was sure wasn't humanly possible – and he'd grown up with circus acrobats. Next to it was a drawing of what was obviously supposed to be him (if the bow and arrow and the vague similarities to his Avengers costume were any indication), equally undressed and in the same awkward pose, a ridiculous expression on his face.

 

Darcy gestured at the pictures. “The point of the Hawkeye Initiative is to draw attention to just how ridiculous and sexist the portrayal of women in comics really is. Their motto is that if you can't draw Hawkeye in the pose without it looking ridiculous, you should probably just not draw that pose at all.” She looked up at him expectantly.

 

Clint wasn't sure what exactly she wanted from him but while it answered a lot of the questions in his head, it left one glaringly wide open. “And why exactly am I their measurement here?”

 

“By now it also includes other people, as well as fictional characters. But if I've understood the origin story correctly there seem to have been some paparazzi pics of you in... interesting positions in the aftermath of one of the more recent Avengers battles. One of the founders of the Initiative apparently likes to use stills from you guys in action for drawing practice. She told her friend how much that one pose looked like a [typical strong female character pose](http://thehawkeyeinitiative.com/post/37099452673/as-far-as-im-aware-the-hawkeye-as-a-strong#notes) and well... That's how they came up with the idea.” She grinned up at him, head falling back against the couch. “So really, it's no one's fault but your own.”

 

Clint stuck his tongue out at her before making grabby hands at the laptop. “Give it here, if there are ridiculous porn pose pictures of me on the Internet I want to knoooow.”

 

Laughing, Darcy patted the couch next to her, straightening the laptop on her legs. Clint swung himself over the back of the couch and landed just in time for [the first picture](http://thehawkeyeinitiative.com/post/45422006304/misskeshra-hey-hes-gotta-accentuate-those) to load. He laughed out loud when he caught sight of a picture of a horrified-looking Natasha asking him where his internal organs had gone while picture-Clint strutted around with the most ridiculously small waist Clint had ever seen.

 

They scrolled through the mountains of artwork that had apparently been made since the battle in Queens two weeks ago and Clint could definitely see the humor in it. Darcy also showed him several articles on the topic, some even mentioning the Initiative specifically already. There were worse things than being exploited in a genuinely funny way for a good cause, he guessed.

 

They'd been scrolling through the blog for an hour when Darcy scrunched up her nose at a picture of [Clint shooting his bow while doing the splits in mid-air](http://hoursago.tumblr.com/post/37002842830/for-real-though-look-me-in-the-eye-and-tell-me). “That would never work.”

 

“Actually...” Clint tilted his head, analyzing the picture closer. “I'm pretty sure I actually made a shot like that a time or two.”

 

Of course Darcy couldn't let that go without proof, which was why they'd ended up on the range, Darcy's tablet at hand for reference while they tried their way through increasingly stupid shots. Well, Clint tried and Darcy enthusiastically took pictures, probably for blackmail purposes. Clint made Jarvis swear that he wouldn't let Tony know about this, ever, and that he'd hide the security footage to the best of his abilities.

 

But there were only so many pictures that actually involved shooting and Darcy kept making doe eyes at him until Clint agreed that yeah, it might be fun to see how many of those poses were actually physically impossible.

 

“Maybe we could even put one or two of them online, you know, to support the cause,” Darcy said, an evil glint in her eyes as she dug a [mid-riff baring My Little Pony top](http://g02.a.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1Y.G8HVXXXXXAXVXXq6xXFXXXk/2015-Women-My-Little-Pony-cartoon-crop-tops-3d-Print-summer-style-sexy-Resort-female-Summer.jpg) out of her closet and threw it at Clint. Clint grimaced, ignoring the wolf whistle when he took of his shirt and the consecutive snort when he fought his way into the top.

 

“Maybe. Just remember that even my dignity has limits.” He shook his finger at her, cocking his hip to the side exaggeratedly and resting his other hand there.

 

Darcy laughed at him, giving him an approving nod after taking in his outfit. “I guess we really found you the [shortest shorts](http://i01.i.aliimg.com/wsphoto/v0/684483403/2013-new-sexy-Men-s-Underwear-unreal-jeans-cowboy-milk-silk-male-pant-brand-quality-boxer.jpg) this tower had to offer...”

 

Clint flipped her off. “It better be. I had to break into Bucky's room to get my hands on those. He's probably going to murder me when he finds out.”

 

Being the cold-hearted monster that she was, Darcy just giggled at him.

 

“There's just one thing left,” she said, dangling a pair of obviously expensive [high heels](http://api.ning.com/files/5AU1xSTnNI20GwHOe3xPsiBGuFpDE3LWjbfE9UY46MdizEJR-Jm-TTHyYuFVQRACpU9nHzi7Gqrzm43KeYGwVAn2oh-oxsNb/ChristianLouboutin.png) at him with an evil grin on her face.

 

Clint raised his eyebrows at her. “When did you steal Pepper's good Louboutins?”

 

“I didn't steal them! She let me borrow them for a fancy date!” She pouted at him. “Now put them on to soothe my hurt feelings!”

 

Clint snorted at her but put them on obediently nevertheless. Darcy wolf-whistled again once he stood up in his finished outfit.

 

“Not bad. Big fan of the jeans-optic spandex. It really does show off all your best attributes. Off to the photoshoot location then!”

 

Clint flipped her off and clicked after her down to the common room, disgruntled. He got his share of laughter when Darcy got more and more frustrated as they went through different poses, though. She'd obviously expected him to get uncomfortable in his stolen spandex booty shorts and crop top and heels at some point. Joke's on her, Clint had performed in what basically amounted to a[ purple sparkling mini dress in his teens](http://thehawkeyeinitiative.com/post/37042329137/i-am-loving-all-of-these-re-draws-but-i-wonder) – it took more than a little skin showing and ridiculous clothes to make him squirm.

 

Everything went well enough and Clint was even having an unorthodox amount of fun until they tried an extremely twisted pose [that almost had him kicking himself in the head](http://thehawkeyeinitiative.com/post/37055099226#notes). Clint could _feel_ several things in his lower back snap before he heard a loud crack and then everything was pain and the next thing he knew he was on the floor, his back on fire, the hip he'd landed on not much better. Darcy's worried face blurred in front of him. He tried to move, the racing pain was back and then everything went dark...

 

 

~~~

 

Tony stared at Darcy, his mouth gaping open. “Are you telling me,” he said softly, tone almost reverent. “That Barton is in the hospital, in a crop top and spandex booty shorts and Pepper's Louboutins, because he snapped or dislocated or whatever something while imitating ridiculous comic book poses.” His eyes lit up like Christmas had come early and everyone instinctively took a step back.

 

“Tony-” Steve started, his arms crossed in his usual stern lecture posture – but there was no stopping Tony anymore. His phone was out before anyone could move to stop him and seconds later he was literally on the floor, curling up into himself with how hard he was laughing.

 

Bruce rolled his eyes and stepped over his shaking form to check on him. He was bent over Tony, one hand reaching out to touch his shoulder, when he suddenly froze. Steve made to step over to him, concerned frown on his face, Phil shifting closer as well, suddenly inexplicably nervous. But before either of them could come within reach, Bruce was already tearing out of the room at top speed. The rest of the team moved to follow him but Tony caught their attention with a feeble wave from the floor, still giggling breathlessly.

 

“Hulk... laughing... too hard,” he managed to force out on a wheeze. Phil shared a worried glance with Steve. Of course – a laughing fit wasn't exactly soothing for the heart rate, either.

 

“I'll look after our shield brother,” Thor declared solemnly, turning on his heels to stalk off after Bruce. Everyone left in the waiting room exchanged glances, except for Tony who was still laughing on the floor and Darcy who'd started giggling again and looked seconds away from joining him.

 

Bucky was the first to break the stalemate and move. “This I have to see,” he grumbled, sinking down to the floor next to Stark and grabbing the phone. The rest of the team held their breath as Bucky took a closer look, flinching ever so slightly when he started laughing hysterically almost as soon as his gaze found the screen.

 

“Oh, oh man, Steve-” He gasped for air in between fits of laughter, waving the phone at them. “You gotta see this.” Steve looked hesitant but Natasha pushed past him, resolutely wrenching the phone out of Bucky's grasp.

 

She became completely still for a moment, Steve and Phil staring at her expectantly as everyone else was still too busy laughing to pay attention to that development. A corner of her lips twitched up and a second later there was a low, husky, rumbling sound. It took a bit for Phil to realize that Natasha was laughing. Out loud.

 

Steve sent him a clearly panicked look and Phil decided it was probably time to act. He slowly and carefully stepped over to Natasha, gently taking the phone out of her hand. She didn't even react, just trembled faintly with low laughter, eyes now fixed on the door that led to Clint. Phil was very, very concerned about this development – but not concerned enough to resist the temptation.

 

The picture was pretty good quality for a phone cam – then again, Tony had made sure that everyone living in the tower was supplied with all the Stark phones they could possibly need (which were a lot, in Thor's case). Clint was draped in a [seriously awkward pose](http://thehawkeyeinitiative.com/post/37252300322/hawkeye-is-a-beautiful-woman) on the back of one of the common room couches, wearing the most ridiculous outfit Phil had ever seen him in. He wasn't looking too closely, but he was pretty sure that crop top was covered in cartoon ponies.

 

Phil wasn't about to lie, the pose and the shorts did great things for Clint's already fantastic ass, but the effect was very much undone by a) the ridiculousness of it and b) by the way Clint's face was scrunched up a little in discomfort. If that was one of the tamer ones they'd tried it probably wasn't a miracle their little experiment had landed him in the hospital.

 

When he finally looked away from the phone screen, Tony was blinking up at him expectantly, tears of mirth still running down his cheeks, eyes wide and watery. “What, not even a little giggle, Coulson? Come on, this is comedy gold.”

 

Phil made his expression as blank as he could. “I'm sure I'll find this more amusing when we know just how severely Clint injured himself.”

 

That sobered up everyone else and by the time the nurse stuck her head into the waiting room to tell them that the doctor would be right in to speak to them, everyone had wiped away the tears of laughter and scrambled off the floor. Steve risked a curious glance over Phil's shoulder as everyone else was busy, snorting softly into his hair when Phil showed him the picture.

 

“I have to say, this will definitely be wonderful blackmail material once we're sure Clint didn't do permanent damage to himself,” Steve said softly, chuckling a little as his eyes drifted back to the picture again.

 

“You're overestimating Clint's sense of shame if you think that'll work,” Natasa threw in from where she'd materialized at Phil's other shoulder, giving them a disdainful look. “You did see the kind of outfits he used to wear in the circus, didn't you?”

 

There was a loud gasp from the other end of the room. When Phil turned his head the unholy light in Darcy's eyes almost made him step back.

 

“Do you have pictures? Drawings? Anything? I need to see this.” She pouted at the room at large. “No wonder he wasn't more bothered by that outfit, I should have thought of that.”

 

Before Natasha could enlighten them on her sources, the door finally opened and the doctor came in, offering them a cautious smile. Phil took a deep breath to prepare himself but Steve ended up being the first to speak.

 

“How bad is it?”

 

“There should be no permanent damage,” the doctor said, flicking through her chart. “But it'll be a while until he can go back into the field with you, Captain Rogers.”

 

Phil took another deep breath. If no permanent damage was the best news she had for them it probably wasn't pretty.

 

“So what did he do, break a hip?” Bucky asked, looking considerably more serious than Phil would have expected when they all turned in his direction.

 

“He sprained several ligaments in his spine, strained most of the muscles in his lower back and left side and thanks to how he landed on it when he fell, also dislocated his left hip,” the doctor replied in a deadpan. “You might want to remind him that trying to forcefully push past the limits of the human body like this rarely does any good.”

 

“Thank you, doctor...?” Steve said with a polite smile.

 

“Robinson. If you want to, you can visit him now but keep in mind that he's rather loopy on pain meds.”

 

They followed her through the door and down the corridor to Clint's room. Tony started giggling again as soon as he caught sight of Clint lying prone on the hospital bed, still in his questionable outfit. Someone had been kind enough to at least get the high heels off his feet. What looked like an intern stood half-hidden in the corner, taking pictures on her phone and giggling into her hand.

 

“You better not post any of that online, Wilson.” Doctor Robinson didn't even turn her head into her direction, but the young woman still put her phone away hastily and scrambled out of the room in record time.

 

“That sure would make a good headline,” Bucky said from where he was leaning against the wall next to the door, smirking in Clint's direction. “Avenger down because he broke a hip doing ridiculous porn poses in heels, exclusive pictures here.”

 

“Fuck you.” Clint blearily glared at him from his bed, eyes unfocused in a way that told Phil just how high he really was. “Didn' break anything. Just dislocated. Or sprained.” He shot Doctor Robinson a questioning glance.

 

“Oh sweetheart,” she said with an exasperated sigh, checking on the varying monitors Clint was still attached to while absentmindedly petting his hair. “You also strained a lot of things. Just be glad you didn't fall on your wrist, I heard you need that for a living.”

 

Tony and Bucky started snickering and Natasha's smirk made Phil more uncomfortable than he wanted to admit. So he quickly crossed the room to make himself comfortable at Clint's bed-side instead, taking his hand in the process and doing his best to ignore the pony-laden crop top... or the way those spandex shorts really hid nothing.

 

“How are you feeling?”

 

“Soooo good.” Clint giggled to himself. Phil wasn't sure if the ponies added to the unfair adorableness or made things disturbing.

 

Clint calmed down after a few moments and gave Phil a very serious look. “I love you a lot. You're not laughing at me.” Doctor Robinson snorted at him from where she was checking the monitors next to Phil. Clint ignored her in favor of pointing dramatically at Steve. “I like you, too. You're not laughing either.” He glared at the rest of the team, but it came out more on the side of a pout. “You all suck. You're laughing at me.”

 

Natasha rolled her eyes at him. “Of course we're laughing at you. Even if Darcy hadn't shown us the pictures, you still look ridiculous.”

 

Clint looked aghast, wide-eyed betrayal on his face as he stared at where Darcy had collapsed into the wall, laughing again. “You showed 'em pictures??” He turned to Phil. “But my ass looked great, right?”

 

Phil couldn't hold back the hysterical laughter anymore. Clint looked a little insulted but seemed soothed by Phil petting his head as much as his shaking frame would allow. Even Steve had given up and was laughing along with the rest of them next time Phil checked.

 

“What's so funny?” Clint asked, still wide-eyed, which just set them all off again, even Natasha and Doctor Robinson.

 

“It's just because you're marvelous company, Clinton,” the doctor assured him with a broad grin and Clint smiled up at her, honest and wide and innocent like he never managed unless he was drugged out of his mind. It made Phil think of what his smile might have been like if none of the horrible things in his past had happened to him – and that thought effectively killed the urge to laugh.

 

Everyone calmed down again soon enough and Doctor Robinson finally got around to finishing her check-up on Clint's vitals. “He's doing perfectly fine considering. Take him home with you before word spreads and a horde of interns breaks down the door with cameras out. I'm sure you have someone for the check-ups.” She turned to Clint. “And you, young man, will be very careful about lying down, moving around, sitting... basically anything at all, for a while.”

 

Clint pouted at her. “That's what you get for contorting yourself like that.” She smirked at him, casually patting his uninjured hip. “And no sex for that great ass for a while.”

 

Phil almost choked on his own spit, Steve blushed enough for the both of them and everyone else burst out in laughter again. Doctor Robinson winked at Clint's even bigger pout and left them to their own devices.

 

Tony started organizing medical transport as soon as he'd calmed down again, his conversations only occasionally interrupted by giggles when he looked over at Clint. Steve got a phone call from Thor, who'd managed to coral the Hulk back into the tower and calm him down enough he could put Bruce on the phone to ask if they should come back over or wait for them.

 

On the way back, Phil somehow ended up next to Darcy, who shoved her phone under his nose and made him look at every single picture they'd taken. To his shame, Phil had to admit that while most of them made him want to laugh at their ridiculousness, some of them did offer a very... interesting view. He would definitely not say no to a first row seat to Clint doing that splits-in-the-air shot... It never hurt to be reminded just how flexible Clint could be. Or how deadly.

 

Thankfully, Darcy was too busy laughing at the pictures to notice Phil's reaction much. By the time they'd arrived at the tower and managed to comfortably arrange a now sleepy and drugged Clint, everyone had seen them and had their fair share of laughter for the moment – except for Bruce, who preferred not to see them if it kept him de-Hulked. They were all piling onto the couches in the common room, exhausted from the initial scare and the seemingly ceaseless laughter, when Darcy spoke up again.

 

“You know, he actually agreed to post a select few of these for the cause. I should probably ask again once he's awake and no longer drugged...”

 

Tony jumped on that like a dog with a bone. “This is a great idea!” He actually leaned forward in his seat again with eagerness. “We'll have to ask him again, true. But if he hasn't changed his mind just because he broke his back a little we could make this into a whole campaign!” He fished his phone out of his pocket. “I'll get Pepper on it, she'll make the most of it. If he's sacrificing what little dignity he has we might as well do it to the greatest extent.”

 

Steve shot Tony a skeptical look before Phil could gather the energy to intervene. “Are you actually doing this for the cause or do you just want to humiliate Clint?”

 

Tony snorted at him, still not looking up from where he was typing wildly on his phone. “Clint is very hard to humiliate. But it would be a bonus. Though obviously we can't do it if he says no when he's sober again. So it would be his choice and if he says yes every last bit of humiliation is on him.” Tony sounded entirely too gleeful about the prospect but Phil was too tired to care too much. If he was getting Pepper on this it was at least going to be as tasteful as possible.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil might be a little more possessive than he though. It's okay, Clint likes it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I warned you. Pure mush.

**Two months later**

 

Darcy basically frolicked into Phil's office, arms stacked high with files and a demonic grin on her lips. Phil sighed deeply into his paperwork before acknowleding her.

 

“Miss Lewis, what can I help you with?”

 

“Another one came in this morning!” She brandished a sheet of paper over her head.

 

“Another what?”

 

She rolled her eyes at his continued denial of the situation. “Another talk show request for Clint. Preferably in a scandalous outfit and ready to bend away.”

 

Phil couldn't suppress a groan that only served to widen Darcy's grin. “I told you to direct those to Pepper. She's better at making these kind of calls.”

 

Darcy pouted at him. “I'm just hoping for one slip-up, boss. Just one.”

 

“So you can get Clint on Oprah in a mini skirt?” Darcy jumped at the sound of Natasha's voice. Even Phil couldn't figure out how she'd managed to suddenly magically appear in his doorway when he'd been facing in that direction the entire time, but he was long past even so much as flinching.

 

“Exactly!” Darcy spun around on her heels, almost dropping her stack of files. “What do I have to do to make that happen?”

 

“You could try asking Clint himself.” Natasha shrugged. “But I'm pretty sure Phil or Pepper would stop him from actually showing up on most shows you want him on.”

 

Darcy was now pouting at them both and Phil didn't have the nerve for this. He had actual work to do.

 

“Miss Lewis, if you could refrain from your attempts to drag Clint on disreputable talk shows. Wasn't Ellen two weeks ago enough?”

 

Darcy gaped at him. “No! He was wearing way too many clothes and no heels. There weren't even spandex shorts involved. And he hardly did anything at all.”

 

Phil shot her a disapproving look. “That would be because medical hasn't cleared him for most of what you have in mind just yet, Miss Lewis. And may I remind you that it was your bright ideas that landed him in the hospital in the first place?”

 

Darcy actually looked vaguely guilty at that. For maybe a second. “But we can't just let this opportunity go by! He has no shame, we have to use that! The Initiative has been mentioned in every major newspaper, we even got statements from the big comic book publishers. This is really making a difference!” She tilted her head, carefully assessing him. “And Pepper even made sure that the broadly published pictures are relatively tasteful. What do you have to complain about?”

 

Phil gritted his teeth, trying not to think too hard about the slightly possessive side that had come out in him. Ever since it started to feel like all the public was talking about were pictures of his scantily clad boyfriend in very... showy positions, he just wanted to growl whenever someone mentioned it. And Clint was enjoying the whole circus way too much for his liking. He could at least discourage Darcy from some of her wilder notions.

 

Natasha seemed to sense how close he was to a scream-filled rage meltdown and dragged a protesting Darcy out of his office by her upper arm, sending Phil a knowing smile. Phil had to resist the urge to stick his tongue out at her and instead managed a more or less grateful smile in return. Just when he was allowing his face to drop into his palm and to finally rub that aching spot between his eyebrows, a soft swooshing noise alerted him to his most recent visitor.

 

“I didn't know it was getting to you so much,” Clint said, sounding unusually soft and serious as he slid up on Phil's desk next to his elbow, somehow avoiding all of the spread-out paperwork. “I can at least stop encouraging her, if you want me to.”

 

“That would be appreciated,” Phil mumbled into the palm of his hand, doing his damndest not to melt into the touch when Clint started running a gentle hand through his hair.

 

“Can do.” And Phil had to actually raise his head and look up because he heard the smile in Clint's voice and he was not strong enough to resist the siren call of an honest Clint smile. The soft, concerned expression in his eyes made Phil relax even further.

 

“It wouldn't bother me so much if it wouldn't be everywhere, all the time.” He sighed. “Guess I'm not handling the world demanding to see you in spandex shorts with your legs spread too well.”

 

Clint laughed softly at him. “It's okay.” The fingers running through his hair were now putting on enough pressure for a proper scalp massage and Phil couldn't help but lean into it. From this close he could smell Clint's soap and their fabric softener, the familiar smells relaxing him further. “If it had been you I would have lost my temper long ago. Natasha is still laughing at me for sending every junior agent I catch talking about your ass in those suits on the mat.”

 

Phil kept his eyes closed and smiled, leaning further in Clint's direction. Good to be reminded that he wasn't the only possessive bastard in this relationship and probably didn't have to feel quite so guilty about it. “Is that so?”

 

“Yup,” Clint admitted with a shameless grin when Phil cracked open one eye to look at him. “You know, I like that it's affecting you so much. A little bit of healthy jealousy never hurt anyone's sex life.”

 

With an exasperated groan, Phil reluctantly pulled away from the still moving fingers in his hair. “Go back into the vents, Clint. I have work to do.”

 

“No office sex then?” There was a mischievous spark in his eyes that made the idea sound way too tempting.

 

“No office sex.”

 

“Later, then?”

 

Now that one was a no-brainer. “Later.” They did have to catch up on all the time they'd missed due to Clint's dislocated hip and sprains and strains, after all.

 

In a blink, Clint had disappeared back into the vents without a trace. The whole thing probably would take a while still to blow over, but in the meantime Phil did have the benefit of not having to share the ass and bulge everyone was staring at with anyone but Clint himself. That would probably be enough to tide him over. If not, he still had the racier photos all to himself...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can bet that Tony jumped on that bandwagon at some point. Just leaving that here.


End file.
